A Life Worth Living
by PleasantlyWeird
Summary: What if someone gave you a second chance to take another path? To be young all over again? Would you take it or would you go silently into the afterlife to be with the one you loved before?  I don't own these characters but I love them so! Don't sue me SM
1. This Enchanting Discourse

**Chapter One**

**This Enchanting Discourse**

Here at what she knew was the end of her days, Bella had very few regrets. She was an old woman who was proud of the life she had lived, the way that she had loved and the man that she had shared all of that with.

Although they had never had any children, Bella and Jacob had led a full and satisfying life together. There had never been a time that she had thought for one second that she'd made the wrong choice when she'd chosen wolf over vampire. She'd not been required to change at all to fit into his world. She hadn't had to give up anything to be with him, well almost anything.

Jacob Black had loved her with intensity, purity of heart and without fail for the fifty-seven years that they had been married. It had been two years since he had passed away peacefully in his sleep and she missed him terribly. Although much of her days were spent with new members of the pack, the children of Jacob's wolf brothers who had adopted her as an honorary and beloved grandmother, she longed for an end to her loneliness. She knew that in death she would be reunited with her love and that they could be young again, free from pain, and together forever.

The dreams she had been having of late, however, were of someone other than her Jacob. She dreamed of another life, a path unchosen with someone that she had once loved equally as intensely as Jacob. His face was the same after all these years, unlined with age and fiercely savage in its beauty and youth. He'd always held her wrinkled hand as if it was the most precious thing in the world to him. It's gnarled and age spotted appearance was stark and obscene in comparison to his white, unmarked skin.

She swore, when she awoke from these dreams that she could smell him on her clothes. His scent was so strong in her memory after all these years. Her minds eye could still recall the exact color of his hair, the shade of butterscotch that his eyes were after he fed, even the crooked set of his smile when she had been able to coax him out of his angst. He had been her world, almost her downfall and the cause of many sleepless nights in her youth. She'd loved him with all of her heart until he'd left her. Jacob had been there to help her pick up the pieces and survive the aftermath. Edward had returned but Jacob had become as essential to her as air by that point. Edward never had her whole heart again after that and little by little, Jacob had gained ground until she could no longer deny it. He was her soul mate, he was the owner of her heart. Although she never stopped loving Edward, she'd always known that Jacob was the only choice.

It was with thoughts like these that Bella lay in bed, tossing restlessly. Sleep would not come to her no matter how weary her body and mind were. She knew he was there before he ever stepped out of the shadows.

"Hello Edward."

"Bella."

"What are you doing here?"

Bella sat up in bed and patted her hair. Even after all this time, she still felt self conscious being in the same room with Edward.

"I came to see you, of course."

"Why? Why now after all this time. Why would you want to see me like this? I'm an old woman now and you're still young."

"I've missed you. I've missed you every single day that we've been apart. I've watched you, watched from a distance every day since you decided you wanted to be with Jacob instead of me. I even saw you on your wedding day, you were breathtaking."

She was at a loss for words. To know that he had been there and watched her walk down the aisle, had seen her marry the man that Edward considered his mortal enemy, was almost unbearable. Knowing Edward, it must have been torture for him not to intervene.

"Bella, I know."

She drew in a deep breath. Surely he wasn't talking about what she thought he was.

"I know you have cancer and that you've refused treatment."

"Edward, if you're here to try and talk me into going through chemo, forget it. There's no way that I'm going to spend the rest of my time sick and feeling worse than I do now."

"I would never dream of trying to change your mind, time hasn't changed your stubbornness, I'm sure."

The look on his face was the epitome of pain. It didn't surprise Bella that he still loved her this much, somehow, even though she had hoped that he wouldn't. She knew that he'd most likely never looked for another love. He was fierce in his devotion to her as he always had been.

"Then why are you here, Edward? Not that I'm not happy to see you, but I know you. I know that you came here for a reason other than to stare at an old woman on her deathbed."

"I came to offer you another option."

Her breath intake was sharp. Surely he wasn't suggesting that she allow him to turn her now. Who would ever want to be an eternally eighty-two year old woman?

"No!"

"You haven't even heard me out," he protested as he ran his hand through his ever unruly hair. He started to pace and predictably pinched the bridge of his nose out of frustration.

"I know what you're going to offer me and the answer is no. I don't want to walk around forever as a sparkly old crone. Forget it!"

His laugh still sounded like the tinkling of bells. His smile was beatific as he looked down at her.

"You don't understand. You don't have to be old, Bella. I've waited for years to offer this to you, my love. I knew that you would never say yes to it as long as Jacob was alive so I waited, gave you time to grieve. I would have waited for a few more years but your illness and your stubbornness is forcing my hand."

She was beyond confused. What was he trying to say to her? She opened her mouth to question him but he raised his hand and silenced her before she could begin.

"Just hear me out. Please."

Bella nodded for him to continue.

"Carlisle and I have been working on many things throughout these years, most of them being cures for chronic diseases. We've found, through experimentation, that while our venom is toxic by itself in it's purest form, when it's combined with various substances and diluted, it has healing properties. Can you believe that we have actually created a cure for diabetes?"

Bella shook her head no, although she did not doubt it for a second. Carlisle and Edward were both brilliant and she wasn't shocked to find that they would combine their talents to look for human cures.

"The thing is, no one who could help us get the cure out there wants it! Chronic illness is a big industry, a huge money maker and if we cured diabetes, who would they sell their meters and test strips to? Who would buy the overpriced insulin and syringes?"

He was pacing quickly, waving his hands angrily. His frustration was clear and it scared Bella a little. He seemed to take notice as she shrank down into her pillow.

"Sorry, Bella. It makes me angry but I guess thats neither here nor there. It's not the reason I came here. Bella, Carlisle and I have found a way to turn reverse aging! I can make you young again. I can give you back your youth and then I can turn you. I can grant your wish after all these years and then we'll never have to be apart again."

"You can make me young again? How?"

"After a lot of experimentation, we discovered that our venom, combined with stem cells and other natural compounds reverses the effects of time on tissue when injected into the heart. But the effects are only temporary. They last for about twenty-four hours only. Though we've tried everything to find a way to extend the results, one day is the maximum the effect lasts. One day would be enough time to start the process of making you a vampire."

His face was wistful and far away. Bella wondered if he was remembering her as she was back them because it was too painful to see her as she was now. He shook his head and continued with his plea.

"We've never tested on a human but I know it would work, Bella. I know it would," he sat on the bed beside her and took her hand in his. It was just like the dream and the contrast between the two of them was even more depressing to Bella.

"This is our chance. We can be together again, we can have the life that you gave up when you chose to be with Jacob. He had his time with you, you shared a lifetime with him. Now it's my turn. Please, Bella. I love you as much as I ever did, even more."

"You've given me a lot to think about, Edward. I... I need to rest now."

"May I come and see you again tomorrow? Will you please think about this? I know it's a lot to have thrown at you all at once, but Bella you have to know how I never stopped loving you. I've ached for you every single second, every single minute and with every beat of your heart."

"Yes, you may come back tomorrow. I'll think about everything you've said. It's just so incredible to think about."

It was all that she could offer him. Her confusion was great and her mind weary. She knew that even though she couldn't see him, he was still in the room, watching over her while she slept, just like he used to. She took comfort in that as she closed her eyes and finally succumbed to sleep.

_She was running through the woods and gasping for air._

"_JACOB! I can't see you! Where are you?"_

_Bella knew it was a dream but she couldn't wake herself up. She knew that Jacob was just out of reach, hidden somewhere in the trees, in the darkness._

"_Bella, I'm waiting for you, I love you..."_

Bella sat straight up in bed, grasping at the neck of her nightgown and crying. She'd almost expected to find Edward still there in her room but he was long gone, his missing scent being proof.

She stood from bed on unsteady legs and walked to her bathroom. The reflection in the mirror was tired as it gazed back at her. Pain from the spreading cancer was etched on her face next to the laugh lines and worry wrinkles.

"_I came to offer you another option." _he had said to her as casually as if he was offering to carry her bags for her.

She smiled in spite of her pain. The irony that she still, at her age, did not have any sort of a normal life was funny to her.

A long forgotten smell wafted up from downstairs. Edward was here and he was making her favorite breakfast, a bacon and tomato omelet with dry wheat toast. She'd never had another one of those since the last time he'd made one for her.

She dressed as quickly as she could and made the trek downstairs. A trip that used to take her mere seconds now took minutes. Clumsiness had always been a problem for her and age had only amplified it. She was much more brittle and breakable now so she took her time on the steep stairway.

He spoke without turning.

"Good morning, Bella. I hope you're hungry."

His smile was heart stopping as he turned from the stove and placed the plate on the small kitchen table.

"It smells wonderful, Edward. Thank you."

"Eat up, my dear. We have a big day ahead of us. Carlisle is preparing everything for us and..."

"Whoa there! I never said I was actually agreeing to this! Slow your horses there, Dr. Frankenstein!"

"Well of course you're agreeing to it, I mean, why wouldn't you?"

"Because I am an old woman! I'm tired, I've lived my life already."

"Bella, don't you see that with this process, you won't be old and you won't feel tired. You'll be in your twenties again, perfect and healthy."

"Edward, I just don't know. It seems like playing God and I'm just not comfortable with that."

"I can remember a time when you begged me to turn you so that you would never age."

"Yes, and I can remember a time when you said that turning me into a vampire would be a tragedy."

His smirk brought a smile to her face.

"Yes, Bella, that's true. But that was also before you had a chance to have all your human experiences. The situation is a little different now."


	2. Ethereal

**Chapter Two**

**Ethereal**

Bella sent the vampire away shortly after breakfast without giving him an answer. He had pushed her hard but she couldn't give him a definite yes or no. There was a mental battle going on inside of her and she was sure that her muddled state had to do with age.

Young Bella never debated too long, she was rather prone to rash, snap decisions. Those rash decisions had led her down the wrong path more than once in her lifetime. A lot of those decisions had been in regards to Edward Cullen.

Now as she sat on the couch in the same house she'd once shared with Charlie and then much later with Jacob as his wife, tears fell freely down her face. Jacob was gone, he had been for two lonely years. She had never been this alone in her adult life and it was a hard existence for her. She'd done nothing but wait for death to claim her since her beloved had passed on. Now she had a chance to be eternally young again. What would it feel like to be free from pain, to not feel her body rotting and dying from the cancer?

She felt the presence of someone else in the room and thought that Edward had heard her crying and had returned.

"Edward?"

No reply came and she turned to look behind, nothing and no one was there.

"Who's here?"

Silence was prevalent, thrumming loud in her ears and interrupted only by the sound of her own breathing.

She stood to check the rest of the house and that's when the smell hit her. The woodsy, musky smell that for so many years she had fallen asleep with and woke up with.

"Jacob?"

The smell intensified and she stumbled backwards onto the couch. Then just as if the rays of the sun were shining down and enveloping her, she felt warmth. His warmth. It was as if he was holding her, even though she couldn't see him.

_I must be suffering from dementia. _She thought to herself. But if that were the case, would she have the wherewithal to make that assumption? Charlie had always told her, crazy people never know or think that they're crazy. Was it really that big of a stretch to believe in ghosts when she had spent a lifetime in a world of so-called mythical creatures that were very real?

"Jacob, I have missed you so much, my love."

Suddenly the warmth that surrounded her was gone as quickly as it had appeared. Her heart sank and the tears flowed again. She was sure that it was just a case of wishful thinking and that she had imagined the whole thing. It would have been all the more plausible if the smell of him didn't still linger in the air.

She couldn't bring herself to do much of anything for the rest of the day. Her energy was nil and her motivation even less. She made herself a bowl of soup for lunch that sat untouched for the most part. She knew that Edward would be back soon and would be hoping for an answer, one that she still didn't have.

Bella sat in the fading sunlight, waiting for him to reappear silently as she knew he would. She felt his icy cold fingers on her shoulder and she couldn't help but jump.

"Forgive me Bella, I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's alright. You'd think I would be used to it after all these years I suppose."

"Have you thought about my proposal?" His eyes were burning into her, she could feel his gaze even if she couldn't see it.

"I'm ready to see Carlisle."

The trip to see Carlisle and the rest of the Cullens was much longer than it had been before. The Cullens no longer occupied the home Bella remembered from her teenage years. They had bought a larger property in Aberdeen twenty years ago according to Edward. They'd needed a larger land with more privacy due to their addition of two wayward newborns.

They'd built what sounded to Bella like a compound. Carlisle and Edward had also built their own state of the art laboratory on the property and that's where they conducted all of their research and experimentation. All of the family had withdrawn from a public life locally. They didn't need money, thanks to Alice and her foresight, their stock portfolio's never failed to produce an incredible income. Carlisle was content working towards finding cures for various human diseases. Being limited in their contact with the locals had assured them the ability to stay in one place for longer than they'd ever been able to before.

Edward talked ceaselessly during the trip, filling what might have been an uncomfortable silence. He respectfully kept the car under the speed limit without Bella having to ask. She felt much more at ease than she thought she might.

"Tell me about your new family. Are they adapting well to the vegetarian diet?"

"Don't worry Bella, they've been comfortable with our lifestyle for many years now. You've nothing to fear," he said with a heart melting smile. "Aaron came to us when we tracked him down in Seattle. We caught wind of him before the Volturi, luckily, and brought him into our fold. He bonded immediately with Jasper and they have been pretty much inseparable for the 15 years he's been with us."

"Does he have any special abilities like you and Alice?"

"None. But I have to tell you, he's probably the funniest vampire I've ever known. He'll have you in stitches," Edward laughed as he seemed to mentally recall something Aaron had said.

"And the other vampire?"

The smile left his face and he looked sadly at Bella. His voice was hesitant as he began to speak.

"Kallie. She was only thirteen when she was turned. She does have a very special gift indeed. One that is hard to explain and better left for her to show you, if she chooses to."

"That's rather cryptic of you but I'll leave it at that."

"Bella, there is something that you should know about Kallie. Jacob is the one who found her, he called us to come and get her. He gave her a second chance by turning her over to us instead of allowing the pack to kill her."


	3. Revelations

A/N If you read, please take just a couple of minutes to review. Reviews really fuel me to write more and post new chapters more often! And they're GREATLY appreciated!

**Chapter Three**

**Revelation**

To say that Bella was shocked to find out that Jacob had been in touch with the Cullen's was an understatement. As far as she had known, until now, he had been as out of touch with them as she had. Even more shocking was the fact that he had turned a newborn vampire over to them instead of tearing said vampire to pieces. His hatred of the cold ones had seemed to have gotten worse as time went on. Apparently, that had been a myth.

"Bella, say something."

Edward had stopped the car on the side of the road and had taken her hand into his.

"I'm not sure what to say. I can't really pinpoint what this is that I am feeling at the moment."

That statement was so true. Should she feel sad that Jacob had withheld this from her, happy that he had been kind and spared a life? She felt muddled again and did her best to shake it off.

"It was the first and only time that I spoke with Jacob after you married him. He showed up at the old house one day with Kallie in tow. She was totally taken with him, you know. She never made a move to harm him, he told us that she had been docile with him since the moment he found her wandering on Quileute land. I think that's what saved her in his eyes."

Bella could only nod. To speak at that moment would have brought tears.

"We're very close to home now. Do you feel well enough to continue now?"

His voice was gentle and she felt his breath on her hand as he bent his head to kiss it.

"Yes. Let's go. I can't wait to see everyone."

_Especially Kallie_, she thought to herself.

The rest of the drive was quick and uneventful, on the surface anyway. Inside, Bella was in turmoil and rehashing what Edward had told her about Jacob. She could understand why he had kept it from her. Even after marrying him, Jacob had feared that she might change her mind and go running back to Edward. He had never been fully comfortable that she was over the vampire. Despite repeated assurances over the years, Jacob had feared that even limited contact with the Cullen's would be

disastrous for their relationship.

Bella was so lost in thought that she hadn't realized they'd pulled up in front of the magnificent mansion until Edward had touched her on the cheek softly.

"Love, we're here."

She sighed deeply and smiled sadly. How odd it would be to see everyone again, looking as they did so many years ago, frozen in time and youth, and here she was an old woman. Her hands silently sought the wrinkles on her face and patted them absently.

"Is everyone here, Edward?"

"Rose and Emmett will be in later tonight, they're flying in from Tennessee. Everyone else is just inside that door, awaiting your arrival," he smiled at her and leaned in to kiss her cheek, "Are you ready, Bella?"

"Yes, I do believe I am."

The vampire was out of the car and opening her door before she could blink. That swiftness of movement was not something that Bella had ever gotten used to. Edward extended his hand and helped her get out of the car. For some unknown reason the gesture reminded her of when she had run through the streets of Volterra, desperately racing to save Edward from his suicidal gesture. There had been a time when Bella had thought nothing of sacrificing herself to save him. She had been young, it had been before she had given her heart to Jacob, but truth be told, she had never lost any love for Edward.

Bella was only three steps up the set of ten before the front door opened and the Pixie was blurring to her side.

"Bella, Bella!" Alice's voice belied her emotions, trembling in it's tone and almost sounding like a sob. The hug she bestowed was gentle but firm, like she never wanted to let go. "Bella I have missed you so much. It seems like an eternity! It HAS been an eternity."

"Welcome home Bella." The slow southern drawl could only be Jasper. His honey blond hair was longer than Bella remembered but essentially he looked the same as her memory had preserved him. His crooked grin was a welcome sight, at least she knew that he was much more at ease around her now and didn't have the urge to eat her anymore.

"Hello Alice, Jasper. I've missed you too."

Edward assisted her up the rest of the stairs and into the house. The inside foyer was every bit as magnificent as she had imagined since getting out of the car. In true Cullen style, it was cleanly decorated as if right out of a magazine.

"Bella, dear heart!" Esme approached soundlessly and hugged Bella.

"Esme!" Bella hugged back fiercely. If she could relate most to anyone now, it would be Esme. She was extremely glad to see her. She didn't hear Carlisle or see him when he entered but she smelled his cologne. The same scent he had worn all those years ago.

"Carlisle."

"Welcome home, Bella." His hug, coupled with the familiar smell of him did make it feel like home . She temporarily forgot how much time had passed and that she was now an elderly woman instead of the young girl that a coven of vampires had adopted and loved.

They sat and did much catching up, hours passed like minutes and eventually Bella began to feel her age. Her lids were heavy and it was Edward, of course, who noticed.

"I think we should let Bella get her rest."

"But I haven't met Aaron or Kallie! Rose and Emmett aren't here yet!" Even in her protest, she sounded weak and a little disoriented.

"Bella, we will all be here when you wake up. No worries, my love. Please just rest now."

She'd been too tired to protest when he'd gently scooped her up and carried her up the curved staircase. The bedroom was distinctly his, the bed seemed familiar. She was quite sure it was the same bed on which she had practically tried to force herself upon him. Alice had followed and she gently helped Bella change into a satiny gown for sleep while Edward waited outside the door. Alice smiled and kissed her cheek before leaving the room.

Bella felt Edward come up behind her and sidestep her to turn down the covers.

"Will you stay with me until I go to sleep?"

"I'll stay as long as you want me to, Bella. I am at your every whim and command."

He sat beside her on the bed as she settled into the plush sheets and comforter. She fought sleep valiantly, cherishing the time spent with him at her side. He quietly began to hum the lullaby that he had written for her in a time long past and she faded quickly into sleep.

Bella smiled to herself as she recognized the tiny sparkles of light that shone through her eyelids. She knew that it was the sun reflecting off of Edwards face as he looked down at her. How many times in her youth had she been woken up by those brilliant reflections?

"Did you stay with me all night?"

Bella jumped in the bed as an unfamiliar female voice answered her. A child's voice.

"I only just came in. I wanted to see you last night but He told me that it wasn't a good idea."

Bella's eyes had finally adjusted enough to bring the young girl into focus. She was a tiny thing with dark brown hair that hung in waves to her waist, huge green eyes and a full mouth. She was staring at Bella hesitantly, as if she was wondering if she should stay or run.

"Who told you that? Edward or Carlisle?"

"Jacob told me."

Bella's heart thundered in her chest at the sound of his name.

"Jacob told you that? Sweetheart, you know that Jacob is dead, don't you?"

"Oh yes, I know that. He's dead but he's not gone."

"And do you see him now?"

"Not right now, no. He's very upset, you know."

"Is he upset that I'm here, Kallie?"

"No, he's upset about what I'm going to tell you. He doesn't want you to know that..."

In a movement that was so fast that it was just a blur to Bella's eyesight, Edward had entered the room and put a hand over Kallie's mouth.

"Kallie, Esme would like your help downstairs."

The young vampire nodded her head at Edward after a long minute of the two looking at each other mutely. Bella got the impression that they were having a mental conversation. Kallie left as quickly as Edward had entered.

"How do you feel today, Bella?"

"Well rested. I haven't slept that peacefully in ages. This bed is amazing!"

Edward bent to bestow a kiss on her forehead.

"Glad to hear it. Do you feel like coming downstairs or would you like to rest more?"

"I have a question, actually," she waited for Edward to nod his ascent and then continued "You said that the effects of this "treatment" last only a day, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Let's do it."

The smile that broke out across the vampire's face could have lit up an entire city with it's brilliance.

"Excellent!"


	4. In Dreams

A/N *** Please please, pretty please leave me a review! I crave them! I'm addicted to them!

**Chapter Four**

**In Dreams**

There was no hospital bed in the lab, although Bella wouldn't have been shocked if there had been. Edward led her to a burgundy overstuffed chair and helped ease her into the plush cushions.

"Comfy?' he asked, his voice tinged with genuine concern.

"Quite. But seriously Edward, I'm not going to shatter into a million pieces. Not yet anyway."

Carlisle entered the room with his trademark self-assured and comforting manner.

"Good morning Bella, dear."

"Hello Carlisle."

"So, you've decided to try the treatment. I want you to know that this is solely your decision to make. I would hate to think that anyone else might have influenced your decision." The look of derision that Carlisle shot Edward did not go unnoticed.

"Carlisle, Edward has made his wishes clear but I can assure you that this is my decision."

"Very well. Edward, get the vial."

Bella's nerves started to get the best of her when Carlisle began to roll up her sleeve and search for a suitable injection sight.

"So, there have been no human trials at all?"

Carlisle looked deeply into her eyes and whispered to her.

"Bella, you can always change your mind. Don't worry about Edward."

She glanced to the end of the long room at the figure of her first love. She felt something within her stir, something she hadn't felt in a very long time.

"No, this is what I want."

Edward made his way back to the two of them carry a small vial of a clear liquid.

"Who's venom was used to make this?" Bella questioned as Carlisle began to draw the serum into a syringe.

"It's mine." Edward answered softly.

"Perfect." was all Bella could think to say.

"Now Bella," Carlise began ominously "we can't tell you what to expect as far as pain. We only know the reaction of the mice we tested on and to be honest, there wasn't much of a reaction at all. They seemed to go to sleep while the process took place. For them the transformation took no more than thirty minutes. For a human, who can say?"

"Are you ready, love?" Edward stared at her with hopeful eyes. She could also see tension, concern and love in his gaze.

"Yes, I do believe I am. Take me back in time."

The needle prick was painless, she barely felt it at all. The serum was thick as it went into her vein, it seemed to have the consistency of honey.

"Well that didn't hurt a bi..."

The blackness overtook her before she could finish her sentence and she fell into a deep abyss of nothingness.

The first thing that Bella saw when she came around was Edwards face. He was crying without tears, his face contorted and his body wracked with sobs.

"Oh Edward, it didn't work. I'm so sorry! Please don't cry..."

"No Bella, you don't understand. It did work. Look!"

He handed her a small hand mirror and she hesitantly raised it to her face. She gasped at the reflection that stared back at her. She looked twenty something again. She turned her face from side to side, peering intently, looking for the slightest wrinkle or freckle. There was none. She looked for the gray that had salted her hair and found only the deep chestnut brown of her younger days.

She did an internal inventory, looking for the pain that she had become accustomed to due to the cancer that had ravaged her body. She felt only her tight abdominal muscles, her lungs that breathed in deeply and without the painful hitch that had become a regularity. She looked at her hands and marveled at the supple, unmarked skin. She was young again, she was healthy again.

"Oh my," was all she could think to say. Then her stomach spoke for her with a loud grumbling roar.

"Come Bella, lets get you some breakfast."

Edward held out his hand to her and she too it. Immediately she noticed that he didn't feel cold to her.

She heard him gasp and he withdrew his hand from hers.

"What's wrong, Edward?"

"I... I heard your thoughts. You wondered why my hand didn't feel cold to you anymore."

"You heard me?"

"More like I felt what you were thinking. It wasn't the same as when I hear the thoughts of other people."

"I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. But why don't you feel cold to me anymore?"

"It's a part of the serum's effect. Your body temperature drops considerably while under the influence of the treatment. There may be other things as well. We'll discuss them when and if needed."

She wanted to press his further but her stomach growled it's discontent again. Edward laughed and blurred to the door to open it for her.

"Shall we, my lady?"

Being pain free was something that took her a little bit to get used to. That and having a houseful of vampires watching her devour enough food for three people.

Alice had kidnapped her after breakfast to find her some more age appropriate clothes from her own closet. They had always been close in size and the feel of designer jeans on Bella's newly firm again butt was a little piece of heaven.

"There, that's much better!"

Alice took a step back and eyed Bella approvingly.

"Thanks Alice. Once again, as always, you're a lifesaver."

Bella headed for the door but Alice called her back to the bed before she could exit the room.

"Bella, there are things you should know. Things that Edward is trying to keep Kallie from telling you. I can't tell you, it's not my place to."

"Why is Edward trying to keep things from me?"

"He's only trying to protect you. You know how he is, high handed, moody and overprotective. Kallie feels you need to know. I agree with her. Edward wants you to make a decision about becoming one of us before you find out. He thinks if you find out now it might influence your decision."

"Can she really talk to the dead?" Bella asked quietly.

"Yes. That's her gift. She helped me find out more about my human life by talking to my grandmother."

"So she could talk to Charlie or Renee? She could talk to anyone who has passed on?"

"I'm not sure how her talent works, if she can just summon people or of they come to her on their own. I've never asked her for information, she's just come to me and the others with certain things."

"I know it's something about Jacob. She was trying to tell me this morning when Edward came in."

"It's something that is going to be very..."

"Alice! That's enough!"

Edward was standing in the doorway with a sour look on his face and his arms folded.

"She needs to know, Edward! It might help her..."

"I said that's enough!"

Alice sat back on the bed with her mouth in a pout. She glared at Edward as he came into the room and took Bella by the elbow.

Bella looked up into his face, her jaw jutting out stubbornly.

"Take me to Kallie now!"

"She's gone hunting with Jasper and Aaron." Edward said, more than a little smugly.

"Edward, I'm sure you think that you're protecting me from something but I will NOT be controlled. If there is something I should know about Jacob then someone better damn well tell me."

"Bella, the past is the past and there is nothing you can do to change it. Why dig things up that are..."

his voice trailed off and he looked at the floor.

"Things that are what? Things that are WHAT Edward?" Her voice was getting louder with each word.

"Hurtful."


	5. It Matters To Me

A/N *** REVIEW! I beg you! Lol

**Chapter Four**

**It Matters To Me**

Bella sat nervously across the table from the youngest vampire she had ever known. A vampire that her late husband Jacob had known. A secret that he had kept from her in a marriage that she had believed had no secrets at all.

_I mean, once you find out your best friend and your boyfriend are a werewolf and vampire respectively, what can be so bad that you have to keep it hidden? _Bella had thought to herself on more than one occasion. Unfortunately she was about to find out.

"So tell me this secret, Kallie. Tell me what no one here thinks I should know."

Kallie glanced nervously to her left, to a supposedly empty space. Then she looked back at Bella and sighed loudly.

"Jacob says me telling you might kill you."

"Jacob's here now?"

"Yes."

Bella swallowed loudly and tried to steady her trembling hands.

"Can he hear me?"

"Yes he can hear you just fine," This news made Bella shake even harder for some reason. "There are actually two things that you should know but only one that I feel I should reveal to you now, Miss Bella."

Bella nodded for the young girl to continue as the feeling of dread took hold of every nerve in her body.

"Jacob loved you very much, you know that. He loved you with everything and every part of him that he could. But Jacob had another life, one that he kept separate from you. One that he had no choice but to carry on. It was as much a part of him as was his transformation into a werewolf."

Bella felt her heartbeat accelerate even more and she felt Edwards hand on her shoulder, seeming to brace her for the shock to come.

"Don't say it," Bella whimpered meekly. Had she known somewhere in the back of her mind all along? All the times he was gone on 'tribal business', the secretive phone calls...

"Bella, he imprinted on a Quilleute woman. She bore him two sons. Leah Clearwater was her name. I believe you knew her."

Bella felt the room spinning but she steeled her mind. She refused to pass out. This was a test of her strength and she would not falter. Leah had been a close friend of her's. They had spent many an afternoon watching the children of other couples together. Leah had never spoken of whom the father of her children were and Bella had never questioned. Leah had always been a fiercely private woman. The boys had always resembled their mother, but now that the truth had been revealed to her, she could see Jacob there too.

"Jacob wants you to know that he's sorry, he never had a choice."

"To hell with not having a choice!" Bella screamed. This was her worst nightmare come true. When she had chosen Jacob, this had always been her biggest fear. That she would give her heart to him and he would leave her one day for his imprint. As the years had passed, Bella had come to believe that SHE was his imprint. But it was all a lie.

"Leah and Jacob both fought it as best they could but the call was too strong. It was a miracle that they both fought it as much as they did, that they maintained separate lives like they did."

"SEPARATE LIVES? They were FUCKING BEHIND MY BACK! HE KNOCKED HER UP TWICE!"

So much was running through Bella's mind as she tried to process the information she had been given. The man that she had loved for all those years, the one that she had thought had been hers and only hers had been a liar and a cheat. The only man that she had ever lain with and made love to had been doing the same with another woman. A woman that she had called a good friend. A woman, whom if she had not died five year prior in an automobile accident, Bella might be tempted to pay a visit to and help her shuffle off this earth.

"Love," Edward said softly from behind her, "Kallie is right. Jacob would have been unable to resist. It was a part of his nature. It didn't mean that he loved you any less, in fact it showed how much he loved you. Any other member of his pack would have run off and left you there. They would have been unable to resist the call of the imprint."

Bella turned to Edward and smiled at him sadly.

"How can you defend him? After all, I left you for him. I turned away from you to be his. And for what? A life full of lies..."

"I always knew that your time with him was limited and that maybe someday I would have another chance with you."

"But Edward, you couldn't have known you would find a way to make me young again..."

"I didn't care. Bella, I love you and have always loved you regardless."

"Can we go to our meadow? Is it even still there? Oh, I forgot that we're much farther away now."

"It's still there and we can go if you wish. But I have found a place nearby here that I think you might like."

Kallie grabbed Bella's hand as they turned to leave. Bella looked back at her and when she did, she saw Jacob standing beside her as clear as day. He looked sixteen again, his hair down past his shoulders and his body chiseled. She gasped out loud.

"Jacob?"

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I wish I could take it all back."

The blackness closed in before she could even try to fight it.

"Bella? Anybody home?"

Even in her disoriented state, she knew that when she opened her eyes Emmett would be hulking above her with that unforgettable impish grin on his face.

"Hello Emmett, how have you been?"

"I'm pissed! I wanted to see you in Granny mode. I really didn't think you'd take the fountain of youth treatment so quickly. The Bella I remember was obstinate and ornery."

"Not unlike yourself. But don't worry, according to your father and brother, I'll be ancient again by morning."

"So you're not gonna let Edward change you?"

"She hasn't decided that yet, Emmett." said a soft, musical voice from the other side of the room.

"Hello, Rosalie. I'm glad you're here."

"It's good to see you Bella. I understand you got a bit of shocking news from our Kallie."

"Yes, I did. But I think I'm starting to understand it better. It doesn't mean that it hurts any less. But I have seen the imprint process firsthand on many occasions and I know that it's something that can't be denied."

"Emmett, can you give Bella and I some privacy?"

"Sure thing, babe."

"Make sure the others give us some time as well."

Emmett moved silently to and out the door, his size making his silence even more stunning.

"Bella, you should know that in all these years there has never been anyone else for Edward."

Deep in her heart Bella had suspected as much but hadn't been so callous as to believe it to be true.

"He's watched you from a respectable distance, he's never been any further away from you than where we are right now. Carlisle is the one who kept him from intervening when the imprinting happened with Leah. He loves you Bella."

"Are you here to tell me that you still don't think I should let him change me?"

"No, just the opposite. I'm here to beg you to become one of us."


	6. Wild Abandon

A/N *** This chapter is semi-graphic. Just a friendly little lemons warning! REVIEW!

**Chapter Six**

**Wild Abandon**

Four days had passed since Bella's talk with Rosalie. She had refused the serum each morning since. The blinding pain that she felt that first morning as she awoke as an old woman was unbearable. It matched the pain in her heart as she came to terms with Jacob's infidelity with someone she had considered a close friend.

Edward never left her side. His love and concern for her played like a movie across his face every time he looked at her. He'd refused to leave even to hunt and the effects of his starvation were apparent. His eyes were pitch black, his cheeks sunken and sallow. Emmett and Jasper had finally forced him to hunt on the third day. The minute that he had left with his brothers, Alice had shown up at Bella's bedside.

"Bella, time is running out. It doesn't take a psychic to see that the cancer is winning. Won't you choose before it's too late?"

"Can't you see what I'm going to do?"

"You know I don't see anything until a decision has been made."

"I just need more time Alice. I don't want to make a rash decision based on what I've learned. I don't want Edward to feel like I've settled. He deserves better than that."

"Bella, you should know..." The pixie trailed off, her face looking lost.

"What?"

"Edward has decided to die with you, if that's what you decide."

"This seems really familiar. I won't be bullied into deciding."

"He's designed his own suicide machine in the event of your death. I won't go into detail because it's truly horrendous, but believe me when I tell you that he won't have to go to the Volturi this time. Carlisle has sworn not to intervene or to let the any of us try to stop him."

Alice's word came out in a jumble, the fear in her apparent in the tone of her voice.

"That's just insane. Why would he do that? Why would Carlisle agree with it?"

"Because we all know that Edward simply cannot exist in a world where you don't exist. He doesn't need air to survive, but he does need you."

"Has Carlisle gone to hunt with the others?"

"No. He's here."

"Call him and tell him to bring the serum. And there are a few things that I am going to need from you as well."

Edwards POV

She was no closer to making a decision than she had been on her first day here. Edward could feel her energy ebbing, her life fading. Her heartbeats were definitely numbered now. He hated being away from her for a single second. It was time that he could never gain back. Bella was going to die and when she was gone he would have no reason to remain.

"Bro, seriously. You need to feed."

Edward glared at Emmett even though he knew he was right.

"I know. I just can't stand to not have her in my sight. She's slipping away more and more every minute and that's time that I can't get back."

Jasper laid a calming hand on Edwards shoulder and he felt his brother's influence flow through him like healing waters.

"Edward, keep faith that she may well allow you to change her. She hasn't said no."

"But she hasn't said yes either and time is short. I know you can feel how much pain she's in. I see it on your face when you're around her."

Emmett's phone rang and he blurred across the open field to gain some privacy. It had to be Rosalie and god knows neither Edward or Jasper wanted to hear the baby talk that the two of them seemed to be so fond of.

"Will you really use the machine if she refuses? Will you end yourself?" Jasper asked solemnly.

"Yes. I have no reason to exist if she's gone. Ask yourself what you would do if you lost Alice. Do you think Carlisle would carry on without Esme?"

"I see your point."

Emmett returned with a strange look on his face. Edward felt panic rising as he looked at his brother.

"What's happened?" Edward demanded.

"All I know is that Alice says that you need to come home now. Jasper and I are supposed to stay here."

Edward was gone before Emmett had finished his sentence.

The surrounding forest was an emerald colored blur as Edward raced home. His mind was so set on getting back to Bella's side that he didn't even notice the rest of his family heading in the direction he just came from. If he'd had a heartbeat it would have been erratic in it's rhythm. He was beyond panicked.

The house was in sight and he pushed himself to run faster than he ever had. Sobs were tearing out of him as he bound up the steps and flung open the door to Bella's room.

She lay on the bed in a long white satin gown. She was young again, she was alive and she was smiling at him with her hand outstretched.

He walked towards her as if in a dream, or what he remembered a dream to be. He hadn't slept in over a hundred years.

"Edward."

He knelt beside the bed and took her hand, kissing it gently.

"I thought I'd lost you."

Bella sat up on the side of the bed and took his face in her hands. She gently lifted his face up, forcing him to look her in the eyes.

"Edward, kiss me. I want you to really kiss me."

The vampire stood, now Bella had to look up at him. He bent down and brushed his lips against hers. She sighed softly, it was the encouragement he needed. He placed his hands on the sides of her face and kissed her again, this time grazing her lips with his tongue. He felt electricity shoot through him when she opened her mouth and her tongue made contact with his. Every fiber of his being was telling him to pull back, every sensible brain cell was telling him that this was dangerous, that he could hurt Bella. His body was not obeying.

"Make love to me."

"Bella..."

"Don't you dare deny me this. Don't deny yourself this."

"I'm afraid I'll hurt you."

"You won't. I know you won't. We were made for each other. I can see that now. I took a detour in my life. One that I think was necessary. But you waited and you believed that we would be together some day. And now I have a chance to start over again, a chance to be young and experience you. Please don't deny me this... please..."

Bella's hands were deftly undoing the buttons of his shirt and he couldn't find the strength to stop her. The smell of her, the taste of her mouth had electrified him. He knew in that moment that he could deny her nothing.

"Bella, I love you so much," he sighed as he lay down on the bed next to her. His hand hesitantly rested on her breast and then pulled away. She took his hand and placed it firmly back on her breast.

"Touch me everywhere, Edward. Don't be afraid. I want to touch you everywhere too."

Hearing her say that destroyed his last vestiges of self control. He pulled the flimsy satin gown away from her chest and his mouth replaced his hand. He skin tasted like heaven. He felt her nipple harden in his mouth and her sigh urged him on. She shrugged the gown from her shoulders and her fingers wound themselves into his glorious mane. He could feel her heartbeat against his cheek as his tongue teased her breast.

He slid up her body and kissed her deeply again. Looking her in the eye, he asked "Are you sure this is what you want, Bella? I couldn't bear it if you were to regret this or if you were only doing this because you're angry with Jacob."

"Edward, I'm doing this because I love you and I want you."

That was all he needed to hear. He rose up onto his knee's and began to undo his pants. Bella stayed his hands and took over for him. She shrugged the denim down past his hips and freed him from his underwear at the same time. Without warning she leaned forward and took him into her mouth, causing him to gasp loudly.

The feeling was like nothing he had ever known. It was the first time anyone had ever touched him there. To look down and see HIS Bella doing this was almost excruciating. He threw his head back and cried out, grasping wildly at his sides for anything to keep him from grabbing her and hurting her.

Bella pulled away and looked up at him. "Edward?" Before she could blink he had her back on the bed and he was between her thighs. He looked down at her, silently asking permission. She smiled dreamily up at him.

Her warmth was incredible to feel as he slowly guided himself into her. No words could describe how incredible it felt to be inside of her, the tightness of her sheathing him. His movements were slow and deliberate. He was unsure of himself but let instinct guide him. He sighs and tiny moans told him that everything was well so far.

He kissed her mouth, her face, her throat. His hands explored her body and he thrilled at the sound of her saying his name over and over again. His Bella, in his arms, beneath him. He was making love to His Bella. The only woman he had ever loved, the one that he had feared was lost to him forever. He felt the fever building, his movements increased with the sounds that his beloved was making beneath him.

"Edward... please, I'm so close..." she panted, grabbing onto his back as he thrust into her.

Venom pooled in his mouth. He smelled something irresistible. Something delectable. He could smell Bella's blood. His thrusts increased and Bella cried out, he body trembling beneath him as her release rolled over her in wave after wave. He was on the precipice, his own pleasure at the feel of her orgasm, her body gripping him inside of her, pushing him over the edge into madness.

The next time Bella cried out wasn't from pleasure, but from the pain of the venom as it began to spread.


End file.
